june.

hey there june,

i've been dreading your arrival since august, but i guess i need to come to terms with the fact that you are finally here.

i realize now that i have two options when it comes to thinking about stepping on that plane in ten days:
i can either be dragged kicking and screaming (ok, not literally) because i dont want to leave lyon/france,
or
i can come to accept that it is simply the end of one adventure and the beginning of the next. and how excited i am (really!) to see the family and friends it seems like i haven't seen in a lifetime.

im thinking the second option is probably the better one to go along with.

also one more thing june, i have a favor to ask of you. could you please make the rain and cold stop sooner rather than later? at first i didn't mind because after the heat it actually came as kind of a relief. but with allergies attacking me one hot day, and then it being cold the next, im afraid i might start getting sick! and with not much time left.. i'd rather spend it being healthy.

all the best,
ariane


it's wierd for me to start realizing that i may actually be beginning to reach that point where i am ready to come home. honestly, i never thought it would happen. maybe its just because im not doing much with myself on this rainy day, or maybe its just because my return is inevitable. but as much as i am putting off packing (though i mean seriously, its still too early to start packing.. i figure i dont need more than a week), i am also getting ready to start. though how i am going to fit all of my stuff in the bags i arrived with, i have no idea. i hope it isnt too difficult!

ok. that last paragraph i wrote this morning. as of this evening feelings have changed a bit. this morning i think it was the boredom and sweatpants that were getting me ready to go home. but this evening chloe came over, and after not having seen her for a week we took some time to catch up. and once again i realized how i am not really ready to leave yet. a couple tears might have even appeared. next week is going to be rough. i can already tell. so much to do, so little time.

honestly though, i cant even really begin to describe how i feel. torn between wanting to freeze time and stay here forever and actually being excited to get back to real life.

if anybody's got a solution to this big problem of feeling all mixed up inside, im all ears. but its hard, because i've come to realize that its only my eap peers who are going through exactly the same thing really know how i feel.. not that they really know what it is theyre feeling either.